It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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