hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
