Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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