I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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