when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
