I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
