All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
