I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
