cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
