come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
