My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
