Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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