In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
