oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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