I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
