the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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