end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
