Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
