New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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