Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
