Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
