what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
