is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
