If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
