Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
