Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
