you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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