So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
