this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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