Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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