Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
