Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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