At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
