I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We are two peas in an std pod
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
