I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
