Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
