Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
