I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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