ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Randomize
