I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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