Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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