beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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