No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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