Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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