Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
