I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
