It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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