either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
