we're blogging at a bar
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
