he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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